The panic of deadlines- aaarrrhhhh. I'm fortunate to be driven by pressure - ha. Grit, determination and stamina see me through - followed by a hefty wine and an expensive treat/ day out with the children (if they've been left out due to the deadline) of course the treat/day out Is unecessary and is only offered because of my guilt. I'm getting much better at handling my guilt now though - my family know that at certain parts of the term, I'm going to be a bit busier. There's know better feeling though, when that deadline has been reached. Bliss.
I have multi-tasked like this with my child. Getting them into the bath or watching tv so that I can finish an email or phone a client.
It's not great! I feel awful for letting technology babysit. This doesn't happen often but he does understand that sometimes work does cross over into family time. It does make me frazzled though!
This looks very familiar...I've lost track of the number of times I would be doing sth with my kids but my mind was completely elsewhere and with hindsight, I feel really sad about this. I know I am the kind of person who finds it hard to switch off anyway, but when I was teaching full time, I would often try and rush bedtime routine things like baths and story time with my kids because I know I had marking or planning to do. Age and experience ha allowed me to gain a bit of perspective and I realise life is too short not to enjoy your kids while they are young. I imagine this scenario resonates with many parents.
Luckily in my job being at home serves as a distraction after what can sometimes be a very traumatic shift but, when I need to study and submit assignments everything else must fade into the distance! I am extremely distracted so I have to shut everyone out but I also get extremely stressed so the children normally get the brunt of it!! This again will then lead me to feeling completely selfish in my career choice!!
Love a bit of pressure, love a target or a deadline. Nothing motivates me more and as long as I have enough warning, managing my time is one of the things I feel I do best. No last minute rushes anymore!
I soon learnt not to promise anything to my two,as the tears and trauma if something came up and I had to change plans was too much to bear. Having to go to night school and studying whilst at home trying to get assignments completed - I tried to tell myself I was being a good role model... but did not feel it.
Yes, work deadlines can impact on family life particularly if they are unreasonable - which with poor management in place they can be. So it really depends on the culture and whether management are effective or not , reactionary management being the worst.
Often it is about navigating through work landscapes that are either productive with realistic deadlines or not. I have navigated through both and have learnt to take an empowered position and if it is not a realistic deadline say ... I may still need to do it ... but not in a passive and disempowered way.
I work flexibly and do a considerable amount of work outside office hours .... but I enjoy it and the work I do including research inspires and motivates me. ... I have always worked this way and so deadlines can be addressed in most cases ... but often they are my won deadlines ... I need these to ensure that when working collaboratively in particular ... I work in a way that is also supportive to others.
As I have said in my previous post ... yes it is a balancing act to meet deadlines with a family to care for ... but I'm paid to do it ... it's my job and in many ways you just have to get on with it. I try not to moan and just do the job, I'm lucky I could be cooked up in a factory all day with no room for the creativity and outside thinking that my position allows ... optimism helps and trying to make a difference in the world we live. My drive comes from a pursuit for social justice and putting work into the public domain that does this.
Deadlines are thus vehicles to make a difference ....
I've learnt to treat deadlines differently as I've got older. Some are not really deadlines, and to those I quite happily written back and said I'm not able to do this by then and offer an alternative date. This is where I'd just have to say to my husband- you'll have to take over here. I do think occasionally that children are fine left to their own devices while I work at home - we sometimes feel the need to have to entertain children.
Sometimes I just have to get things done by the scheduled time - it happens a lot with Universit work, and so Nat just gets to watch TV. There are times when I feel bad, but I do know I am there such a lot for him, and would drop it if he needed me. I do get stressed and I do nag, but actually we need the money to pay the bills and to do the things that we like to do.. so we are lucky to be so privileged.
I work best under pressure as I tend to procrastinate when I have plenty of time to do things, I have been known to work late into the night in order to manage the family and meet deadlines. As I get older I find my capacity to burn the midnight oil has diminished so I have accepted that there are times when I need to work and times when I am able to play. So long as play wins. I am happy.
Since my daughter was born and up to the age of about 10 I felt that the aim of my whole life was to meet the deadlines! It was tough, but it taught me to develop some sort of emotional resilience... With time I learned to sort problems into the relevant 'imaginary' piles labelled "very important", "not that important", "totally unimportant". This strategy helped me to be a better mum, as I developed a way of ruthlessly deleting some of the deadlines from my diary and replacing them with an entry "Tammy - very important"